Pinima President decides gourds are too important a national symbol, and says all gourds sold outside the country will be reimported

"We decide our national symbol the gourds are too much sacred after all."

First published on 13-05-2013

In his latest move, the Pinnish dictator has surprised many by signing a decree (that he says he “saw in a dream, during a long sleepless night”) stating that all gourds sold abroad will have to be reimported and conserved at the Presidential Palace, where a large underground facility storage has apparently been quickly and secretly built during the last two weeks.
In a previous article based on the PiniLeaks, we found out that the President was using the gourds (which are the national symbol) exported as a medium for surreptitiously sneaking out the natural wealth of Pinima (mostly gold and rare minerals) to commodity black markets abroad, with the revenues being protected in banking-secrecy and blood-money-white-washing champion Zwitchergland.
Inside sources tell us that the President's move has been prompted by the Offshore Leaks scandal, which has exposed secret accounts held by current and former government officials, including ones who have been championing and enforcing austerity on their people, and others who were supposed to fight tax-evasion.
Although the name of the President hasn't appeared yet in Offshore Leaks documents, the unknown extent of the leak and fear of exposure followed by popular unrest may have indeed pushed him to “wisely” repatriate his wealth (believed to be a mix of gold and strong foreign currencies) to Pinima.
The use of the gourds is most likely due to their convenience as an easy way to smuggle goods. Once they arrive at the Presidential Palace, our inside sources say the gourds will be emptied and the gold and money brought inside heavily protected safes.

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